Don't judge me: Mothers Day 2009

Mom, Dad, Paul and I all settled in around my beautifully set brunch table on Sunday to enjoy a feast: french toast with strawberries, scrambled eggs with brie cheese, tomatoes and spinach, orange juice in wine glasses, and bacon. I used my good china, fancy napkins and my new place mats. The centerpiece was a gorgeous arrangement of stargazer lilies, purple orchids and some lavender spritzy baby's breath-esque fillers. "Cal, the flowers are gorgeous! Where did you get them?"

Paul looked at me, saw the frozen look on my face and burst out laughing. "Yeah, where did you get them?" He taunted. He burst out laughing so hard I thought he was going to choke on his bacon and got me laughing, too. I could hardly talk. Tears streamed down my face.
"Promise not to judge me?" I asked. My parents looked at each other, slightly alarmed, but they did promise. "Well," I took a deep breath and choked out, "I got them in the alley out of my neighbor's trash bin."
"No," Dad said in disbelief, "You didn't." I explained how I had seen a giant bouquet with some perfectly fine stems looking so bright and cheery that I couldn't leave them languishing in a dirty dumpster. After about five minutes of hysterical laughter we started to calm down, clutching our stomachs.
"Mom why did you ask me where I got them? You've never asked me that before."
"I don't know," she answered, "but I'm never asking again!"

Mom news

This year my momma is getting Ikea taper candles, her favorite Bath and Body Works antibacterial yummy smelling soaps, and a little tree planty thing that has a trunk in the shape of a heart. Oh, and a new ringtone...by request. She said she wanted "Lucky" by 'Jason Moran and Moriah Carrie.' Aka...Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat.
Need an inexpensive way to give Mom a shout out this weekend? Check this out!
Mom Video
My favorite quote? "In other mom news a recent study confirms that pulling your hair back in a ponytail is not the same thing as showering."
Crap! Who knew? Learn something new every day.

Kids say the darndest things

Kids really do say the darndest things. And sometimes, so do I. Luckily half the time I only say them to myself in my head (or out loud if I'm home alone). Mom got me a great little black cotton dress off the sale rack at Target for only $7. I threw on a floral cardigan with some cute jewelry and checked mah-self out in the mirror.
"Cute...and so comfortable," I thought. "Its just too bad maternity dresses make one look so--pregnant." Wait, did I fail to mention it was off the maternity sale rack at Target? Yeah.
And no, I'm not pregnant. Hence the problem with looking like I am. Whatever, I belted that sucker and am good to go. Plus this way if I eat too much at lunch there is plenty of room for my potentially overstuffed stomach. So practical, I am!

Dirty Laundry

Time to clean out the camera phone. TOO many pictures! Might as well air my dirty laundry here (well it was actually clean laundry until Ebs decided to hop in the basket and "help")


Sometimes when I'm getting ready to go out and can't decide if my outfit looks a) cute b) slightly ridiculous or c) call the fashion police bad...I just snap a little picture and sendaroo it over to Sister. (Blurring and weird expressions are mandatory. Streaky mirror, too.)


Speaking of sisters, these pups, Kodi and Lucy, belong to two branches of our family friends. They wrestle like UFC fighters and while Lucy is smaller she won in takedowns this weekend 8 to 0. The girl has game.


I swear Ebbie knows when The Boy is coming over...she waits anxiously at the door. I think someone has a crush.

Lettie Bumpkins came to visit and her sister made coconut pancakes for brunch. Sounds weird but don't knock 'em until you've tried 'em. I'm a believer.

And now I want pancakes.

Old lady moment: What IS that thing?

The college freshman I was sitting next to for a scholarship luncheon my office hosted turned to me and pointed. "What IS that thing," she asked, scrunching her nose at the indiscernible hunk of plastic sitting.

"It's a Polaroid camera."


"Oooooh," she said. "That's what those look like!" Assuming she had grown up under a rock I smiled patronizingly until the two girls next to her leaned in to see the object in question.
"Cool! How does it work," one asked.
The other said, "Yeah, I've never seen one of those in real life before." Doing the math in my head I realized they had probably been born in 1990. While giving them a lesson in Polaroid basics, I tried not to feel terribly old and decrepit.

Fah-ried

My brain.

My brain on work.

It has been a crazy week and my mind has turned to mush which means I have nothing interesting/clever/humorous/intelligent/witty to say. Oh and also, I wish I could make fried eggs but they always end up sticking funny and don't cook right so then I just mash it up and end up eating them more scrambled than fried. Maybe someday...

(Disclaimer: neither of those pictures is ACTUALLY my brain. I got them from Google Images.)

OH THERE you are...

Sisterface was having issues with her gmail this morning (heaven forbid!) and after asking her to sign out and back in to see if her contacts would load I got an email from her that said, "I only tried refreshing the page a bajillion times - OH! there I am!" What scene popped right into my head? This one from Hook!



Another favorite scene that I may or may not quote on a regular basis is from The Sandlot. (Oh Benny the Jet Rodriquez...how I loved you.)


Is it even possible to say "forever" normally after watching that movie? I think not.

Gimme all your money

Sitting at my desk one afternoon I clearly had a lot on my mind (ie do I eat my string cheese snack now or wait another 15 minutes so I'm not starving for lunch?) when out of the corner of my eye I saw a blue uniformed man pulling a cart piled with full, secure bank bags. "Holy crap that is a lot of money," I thought to myself. My next thought was, "That dude has kind of a potbelly. I bet I could take him out but if the elevators are running slowly today (which they almost always are by the afternoon) I'd totally get busted waiting in the foyer."


By the time I had finished playing out this little tackle and run scenario the rent-a-cop had passed by my cube so I let go of my get rich quick scheme and hit print on the document I had been writing. Turning the corner to the printer I almost ran smack-dab into the chest of the rent-a-cop and my eyes were directly level with the badge that said, "Document Security." Yeah, apparently those bags were filled with papers to be securely shredded, not money.
There goes my robbery dream, up in smoke.

(Picture from Google Images)

When I was little...

When I was little my Aunt Molly used to babysit me and I always had a blast at her house. Uncle Jon and I would sit in the hammock solving all of the worlds problems while I ate peanut butter by the spoonful and drank fizzy lemonade out of my special tin cup. I wasn't the neatest eater as a child and it was Aunt Molly who discovered that plopping me in the bathtub was the safest way to let me have a popsicle. That way she could wash me up as soon as I was done and I would leave bright sugary drips all over the floor while I ate. After my bath she would wrap me up in a warm towel and tickle my arms. No, not tickle under my arms to make me laugh. She scratched my arms softly and it would inevitably put me to sleep.
Twenty years later whenever I see Aunt Molly I still sidle up to her and oh so subtly stretch my arm out to be tickled. The Boy has quickly learned that if I am ever in a bad mood (yes, sweet ole me does get cranky now and again) all he has to do is scratch my back and I melt into a dreamy puddle. Kind of like this little guy. Only not quite as cute...

Reflect-o-wrap

Last night I decided I was going to do a somewhat serious post about civil rights protests and the possible extinction of killer whales but it is the kind of morning where my mood is wavering between tears and wanting to throw something (damn hormones) so instead I'm going to share a story of my ridiculousness.
Every week in my kindergarten class, er, graduate lecture we have two informal speakers: a reflection leader and a wrap-up leader. The reflection leader gets up at the beginning of our 5 hours together, gives a little schpeil and leads a discussion about the previous class. The wrap-up leader talks at the end of lecture and discusses the class that has just finished. (If you're thinking that we redundantly reflect twice on each class you are quite correct).
A few days ago I got an email from our TA titled "Wrap-up for class confirmation: April 22nd." Of course I did not actually read this email but I figured all relevant information was in the title, right? Wrong. In the email she said she was emailing to confirm that I was to be the reflection leader but since I didn't actually read that...whatever. She contradicted herself. It isn't my fault...
Fast forward to last night. I showed up thinking I had the next 5 hours to mentally prepare for my cute little speech. When the professor said AT THE BEGINNING OF CLASS, "Caley, are you ready to come up and lead us in a reflection," my eyes bugged out and I almost choked on the cheese and crackers someone had brought for our kindergarten class, er, graduate lecture snack.
I stuttered something about thinking I was the wrap-up leader but that I'd be MORE than happy to reflect on last week's lecture. Oh wait, did I mention that I snuck out half way through class last week? Apparently I pulled it off pretty well though because later during break approximately 17 people congratulated me and said, "That was awesome. Can you teach me how to not prepare like that?"
Let me know if you'd like to sign up for a free online seminar. Classes will be held weekly but be warned: I like to play hookey.

"I want..."

Recently I posted a quote from Saving Grace that rang true to me. "I want to be the mystery in the room..." Ah, I still love it!
Believe it or not, I've found another monologue on network TV that was beautiful, touching and is still stuck in my head days later. It is the college essay of Tyra on Friday Night Lights. I've included the text but listening to the sound bite of the character reading it herself is even more moving.


"Two years ago, I was afraid of wanting anything. I figured wanting would lead to trying and trying would lead to failure. But now I find I can't stop wanting. I want to fly somewhere on first class. I want to travel to Europe on a business trip. I want to get invited to the White House. I want to learn about the world. I want to surprise myself. I want to be important. I want to be the best person I can be. I want to define myself instead of having others define me. I want to win and have people be happy for me. I want to lose and get over it. I want to not be afraid of the unknown. I want to grow up and be generous and big hearted, the way people have been with me. I want an interesting and surprising life. It's not that I think I'm going to get all these things, I just want the possibility of getting them. College represents possibility. The possibility that things are going to change. I can't wait."

Learn from her mistake

I have this friend. And my friend told me I need to share a warning with you; a Public Service Announcement of sorts. So here you go. A PSA. From my friend.

Sometimes after having a few glasses of wine you might find yourself sleeping somewhere other than your own bed to avoid driving under the influence (smart choice.) Here's where you need to watch out: if you wake up in the middle of the night and decide that you need to finger brush your teeth (you know, put the toothpaste on your finger and brush brush brush) because you forgot to do so before going to sleep, make sure you completely rinse the toothpaste off of your finger toothbrush before going on to remove the mascara that has smudged under your eyes. If you do not completely rinse off the toothpaste you risk it getting in your eyes and that, my friends, is not a good thing. No no no, it is not a good thing. In fact, it stings like the dickens and makes it very difficult to go back to sleep.

There you have it. You should know I'm only posting this because my friend was so adamant about sharing how painful and some might even say traumatizing toothpaste in your eye at 3am can be. I mean, at least that's what I hear anyway. My friend will feel much better now knowing that you have had the opportunity to learn from her mistake.

Picture from Google Images

My baby's famous!

I've been known to do a little shameless self promotion here on Sidenote: from time to time but this time it is Miss Ebbie that is famous! And on a dog blog no less.

Clearly she is unimpressed by all the attention. What can I say? She's a cat; she expects it!
Who's your dachshund in the middle of an amazing fundraising initiative so I encourage you to head over there, check out Ebbie's story and consider making a donation.

Careful what you grab

Grabbing the white out instead of eye drops: a pretty clear sign it might be time to organize the work "junk drawer."

(FYI, I didn't actually use the white out in my eye. I noticed before it got to that point. But still...)

Live surgery

HOLY CRAP I am so excited. For what am I excited?
LIVE SURGERY BROADCAST!

Tuesday at 3:05pm we received the following email:

Good Afternoon,
Tomorrow from 2:00PM to 3:30PM there will be a broadcasted Live Surgery on the large screen in Memorial Hall. It is related to an event being held at that time. The type of surgery is unknown, but you may choose to avoid the area if this type of coverage is at all unpleasant to you.
Thanks,
Building Administration

Tuesday at 3:06pm I read the email and immediately started giggling. Apparently everyone in the four cubes closest to me read it at the exact same time because soon we were all laughing together. Now remember, people in my area don't even say "Bless you" when I sneeze (although I now suspect this has more to do with them wearing ear buds than any kind of personal affront) so it was quite the bonding moment.

For someone who doesn't have cable and desperately misses the Discovery channel, this is a big deal. I can't wait to sneak down and check out the action The LIVE action, no less. So. Excited.

Vay-cay pahleese

You know it might be time for a vacation when you've changed all of your passwords to things like "beach party," "margarita pitcher" and "palm trees."* I, my friends, have reached that point.

On top of my password vacation spree I noticed as I unpacked my groceries last night that most of the food I had bought was vacationy and summeresque, if food can be such things.
Cheese slices and peppered salami: perfect for backyard or poolside consumption.
Limeade juice mix: my preferred post lawn mowing drink and delicious with a little tequila (Consumer Reports says that something like 60 plus percent of homeowners who mow their own lawns are men. PSHA is what I say to that. I do my own!)
Giant grapefruits: taste like Florida and are a good substitute for perfume if you eat them as sloppily as I do

All of these things were swirling in my head last night as I painted my toenails and updated my mental countdown to California (36 days). Then, I turn my nail polish bottle over to check the name. It said, "Cabana."

Can I go on vacation yet? I'm afraid the next step will be seeing mirages at my desk...


*These aren't my actual passwords, they are LIKE my passwords. The tech department at work would throw a fit if they thought I was posting my actual passwords on Sidenote: and, really, I'm not that much of an idiot.

Picture from Google images but I wish it was my backyard...

An Easter "oops"

"So, Professor, what are your holiday plans?"

"I have grandchildren coming to my house! We're dying Easter eggs and the kids are so excited. My wife put me in charge of supplies and yesterday I got few dozen of the most beautiful eggs."

"That will be great!"

"Oh no!"

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized that I bought brown eggs."

"Looks like someone is having an egg bake for brunch."