Oh boy(s) III

Recently a good guy friend of mine stopped by. Looking around my house, which is decked out for Halloween, he said, "You have an actual house. A respectable one."
"As opposed to what?"
"As opposed to mine. Every weekend it is full of empty beer bottles, drunk guys and leftover White Castle burgers. Sometimes during the week, too." Hard to argue, he has a point. After that he went to the fridge to grab himself something to drink and I heard explatives coming from the kitchen.
"You ok in there?"
"Yeah, I just can't find a beer in all this healthy s*!$" I laughed but was a bit confused. Healthy? I didn't think so. Judge for yourself.
Contents Of My Fridge
-A jar of pickle (not pickles, just one lonely pickle floating in the jar)
-Chunk of cheese
-Expired soy milk
-Ranch dressing (to go with my frozen chicken nuggets)
-Tortillas (flour and corn)
-Three jars of salsa
-Sketti sauce
-Parmesean
-Olives
-Butter
-More butter

Oh boy(s) Part II

OK so I've made references to the fact that I tend to have strange dates. Here is a run down of one such recent date. There are many more in my archives, I might just keep pulling them out and continuing with this "Oh boy(s)" series.


-invite date to a pro sporting event (my parents are season ticketholders)
-get call day of event that date has to go to work halfway through event
-date invites me to dinner before event to make up for having to leave early
-i agree
-i can't figure out to wear, have to ask my next door neighbor for an outfit consult and barely leave on time
-show up, date is crabby after getting no sleep the night before
-halfway to resturaunt, date notices he forgot his wallet
-go back to his apartment to pick wallet up
-we eat, drink, and then date realizes his credit card is not in the wallet we went back to get
-i pay
-we miss lightrail because waitress comes running after us to give date back the keys he left on the table
-late for game
-i buy drinks, drop one of them, person next to us (who happens to be a family friend) reaches to pick it up, hits his head on a railing and gets a giant goose egg on his forehead
-i feel bad
-we leave game early so date can get to work
-i slip on mysterious liquid walking around inner ring of the dome, fall, land on my bad knee and look stupid
-date laughs
-drunk girls at lightrail compliment me, say i'm beautiful and ask date how he ended up with me
-date "jokingly" tells them that i'm his sister
-i'm not amused
-he does it again
-still not amused
-get back to date's apartment and am ditched in his living room so he can get ready for work
-i let myself out
-kelsey and i meet for wine, hash out the evening and pronounce it to be one of the worst dates ever (even worse than the date when the guy took me to noodles and company and then had a weird reaction to the pasta sauce during which he kept sweating profusely and dripped some of it into my food.)
-i drink too much wine
-wake up feeling miserable
-little brother brings a smoothie to me in bed and somewhat restores my faith in men
-i erase date's phone number from my phone
the end.

Oh boy(s)

I survived the weekend. Kelsey, my brother and 6 other guys joined me at the fam's cabin for what somehow turned into a boys weekend (even though I was hosting). The weather did not cooperate so we were cooped up inside almost the whole weekend and don't get me wrong, I love all those guys but man do they start to smell after a while! One of the most enjoyable moments was the glorious that Kels and I snuck in while the boys played games on the porch Saturday afternoon. We burrowed up in the master bedroom, pulled the shades, turned on the fan to drown out the noise, and didn't move for at least two hours. Of course, we were woken up by stinky boys jumping on us but after they left us alone to get up Kelsey covered her head with the blankets and said, "I wish I could just sleep forever." "Um, Kels, I think that is what we call suicide." Not gonna lie, death by napping would not be a bad way to go. We, however, decided not to take that path and left our cave to carpe diem the rest of our trip.
A few things I am taking away from the trip
-a bag full of clothes that smell so bad just from being in the same space as the guys I might have to burn them.
-enough leftover carrots to keep my backyard rabbits alive through the winter
-that it would be really great if the guy I marry someday does NOT snore.