Lost and confused

Sometimes I'm an airhead. Usually only when I have lots of very important things flying through my head but sometimes just because. This week has been a combination of the two. I'll give you three examples:

Example 1
After work I decide to go to Target. I need some essentials (grapes, tights, and an eye shadow brush) but pulling into the parking lot I remember that I hate running errands at 5:00 when the rest of the workforce is doing the exact same thing. Circling the aisles I give up and park at the end of a row, far far away from the door. Walking through the automatic doors I grab a cart. Since when did Target revert to using metal carts? I thought they were all red plastic? Then,
standing in the middle of the door, blocking traffic, I finally notice the giant sign on the wall ahead: CUB FOODS.
I let go of my cart like it had become electrically charged, put my head down and slumped my way to the exit. Pretty sure the cop at the door was suspicious of my guilty look but believe me, sir, you have no idea what that shame was all about.

Example 2
I forgot my phone at home. That alone is a sign that I am not myself. All day I felt naked and abandoned but the real trouble started when I stopped at the mall on my way home. Without my phone, I have no clock, so I had to keep asking strangers, "Do you have the time?" I am positive at least 75% of them thought I was hitting on them and I'm not surprised; I heard once that asking for the time was the most successful pick-up line guys use. Only I'm not a guy. Whatever.

Example 3
For six months I've been taking classes in the same building on campus, parking in the same building, and using the same skyway to get to my lectures. One night, however, I parked, walked through the skyway and just kept walking right on past the stairs I should have taken. When I finally look around I find myself in the middle of the business school. Now, I heard that women make up less than 20% of today's MBA candidates. At that moment wearing my bright red peacoat in the midst of swarm of dark suits, I believed it. I found the closest stairs, bolted down them, and still couldn't figure out how to get back to my building. I stopped at the security desk and that is the point where if I could have cued some harp music in the background I would. "Oh-my-hot-security-guy" is all I could think. One word to describe his brown eyes: dreamy. It's a good thing after asking him for directions I found a sign pointing to my building because he had no idea what he was talking about. Maybe he fell a little bit in love with me, too? Perhaps being lost and confused isn't all bad...