I've been doing some calls for a side project at work but since I'm calling during the day I basically have to leave about 45 voicemails in a row. I should probably mention that I hate voicemails with a passion. I hate leaving them, listening to them, forwarding them, everything about them I hate.
As soon as the machine beeps I get all flustered and can barely remember my own name, much less why I've called, so for this project I have made myself two scripts: one for if someone answers (almost never) and one for when the machine answers (almost always). Until yesterday there were no problems with the script but then a few messages on peoples's machines made me start laughing so much I almost had to hang up in the middle of my script.
First one: "Hi! You've reached my house. It's here, I'm not. Leave me a message and a call back is guaranteeeed! From me, not my house. Thanks!"
The second one said, "Hi, I'm not here right now so leave me a message and I'll call you back. Unless this is the Menards delivery truck. Then you should call my cell phone at ___-___ because I just work in downtown Podunk* and I can be there in five minutes so don't leave, make sure you call me. On my cell phone. Thanks."
*Generic name of small MN town
At first I thought I would be able to make it all the way through leaving my voicemail without losing it but his twangy MN accent kept going through my head and THEN I started thinking of that country song where a guy uses his voicemail to try to get a girl back and I almost lost it. I had to pause. So I wouldn't laugh.
Maybe he and Blake Shelton compare notes?
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3 comments:
Hah! I have to imagine that the creators of those outgoing messages would appreciate you giggling a bit before leaving your scripted message.
Mildly off topic: I tell everyone that I'm from Podunk, Oregon because it's a lil tiny speck on the map, and no one's ever heard of the town. After hearing me say it so often, my old roommate honestly that was the town's name. He saw a movie where the character said he was from Podunk, and came home and said, "Sara! So-in-so is from the same town as you!" Poor city kids ;)
Oh, come on, everyone knows Minnesota has its very own generic small town!
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