Recipe for disaster

Fall foods make me go MMMM. While I don't do a ton of cooking (it is hard to get motivated to do it for just one person), I do like to whip a yummy up every once in a while. Last week I decided to make baked apples like my grandma Maggie used to do when the weather started changing. Looking up a recipe online I found one and got started. It told me to core the apple using an apple corer but if I didn't have one I should simply use a paring knife, simply being the key word there. By the time I was finished trying to decoreify my lovely local apples, they looked like victims of the chainsaw massacre and my hands were not in much better shape. I had so many little cuts on my fingers I had to do the second half of the project with gloves on to keep it all sanitary. For some reason I didn't think to take a picture of them when they were done. Perhaps that is because they were brown, smooshed and disgusting looking. But let me tell you, they were DE-LISH-OUS.

This weekend I decided to be brave and try another fall favorite: butternut squash. Mom said it is pretty much the easiest thing in the world and I foolishly believed her. Cut the squash in half, put it in a pan with a little water in the bottom, cover with aluminum foil and bake for 30-40 minutes at 350. What she failed to mention is that squash is not easy to cut in half. In fact, it is near impossible. Instead of two halves I ended up with a 1/3 and a 2/3. The edges almost looked like I had intentionally tried to make them scalloped but no, no that is just as close to a straight edge as I could get. After slamming the oven door shut with the squash inside I surveyed the damage. Little orange pieces were all over the kitchen, there were three dirty knives on the counter because I kept thinking, "Maybe this one will make it easier," and I was practically shaking from frustration.

I sent my mom this picture accompanied by a text that said, "I almost died trying to cut the squash in half. Easiest recipe ever? I think not." Her response was, "Save that photo for a cookbook." Thanks, Mom.