Family Musings, Part III

Dear Sissypants,
Every time I start writing about you I get stuck because there is so much I want to say. So, I decided it would be easier if I just wrote it like a letter addressed to you.
When I was little, my hero worship went beyond just wanting to be like you; I wanted to actually be you. You know how I used to say your hair looked like spun gold? I was right. I'm still jealous of it.

In kindergarten you were the 6th grade bus patrol which automatically made me one of the coolest girls during the walk from the classroom to the front of the school every day. You beat up the neighborhood bully to protect me and sometimes you even let me go with you on bike rides to the playground. Getting to sleep in the second bed of your beautiful white bedroom furniture set made me feel like I had gotten a key to a princess tower. When you trusted me enough to let me in on your plots to sneak boys in while Mom and Dad were gone and to sneak yourself out when they were home I guarded your secrets like I was Fort Knox.

Of course, things weren't always great between us. Remember the time you left me in the parking lot at Cub Foods because you didn't wanted to take me with you in the first place but Mom made you? Or how when I tattled on you, you would make me put my hands on the ceiling in the car until all the blood had drained out of them? I understand now how much I must have bugged you then. What 16 year old girl with a brand new license wants to have a 10 year old tagging along?
When high school came along you let me use your old prom dresses and once again, just by association with you, I felt like royalty. When someone asked where I had gotten it I puffed up like a robin and said, "It was my sisters." I even got to wear your old uniform sweater, the one with your name on it. Do you have any idea how cool that made me feel?

This summer when Grandpa died, my most precious moments were with you; when we got to stay overnight together with him at the hospital; when I got sick from hearing the news and you laid on the bathroom floor with me to make sure I was ok; when we escaped from the chaos and hid under a blanket in the middle of the living room laughing because there was nothing else we could do. That week made me realize that I wouldn't know how to navigate life without you.

I can't remember the last time a day went by when we didn't talk. While I have gotten over my desire to dye my hair blond and get blue contacts just to be more like you, I still have the remnants of a little hero worship. The way you carry yourself, always trying to make people happy and finding humor in the littlest things is something to be admired. Just the fact that you manage to cook delicious homemade meals almost every night has me completely in awe. What happened to the days of microwave popcorn and cream soda for dinner?
While I miss you, it feels like we are closer than ever even with half of the USA between us. I can't wait until the next time I visit so we can pop some popcorn, trade cream soda for wine, and stay up talking until we fall asleep like we used to in your princess tower of a room. I'm honored to still be your Fort Knox.

I love you,beautiful Sister! You are my bestest friend in the whole wide world.
xo
Sissifer